The Connection Between Love & Money

What does someone’s love life and money have in common?! 

A lot actually!!  I love doing inner work and consistently practice meditation, nidra, yoga, journaling, looking at my patterns and so much more.  And recently when I dove into the work of To Be Magnetic the love and money connection totally sunk in as it is discussed a lot in their work and illustrated brilliantly.  

I first started to notice years ago that when I was in an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship my business suffered.  It didn’t make any sense to me, but I took notice.

It was an old relationship that I went back to twice after I started my wellness business.  After the newness and excitement of the "old" relationship wore off, we both fell into unconscious co-dependent patterning, and I noticed that my business and money suffered.  My business grew stagnant, and leads stopped coming in.  From this I accumulated some debt.  The second time I went back into this relationship (I know, I know!) the same thing happened with my business….a decline in clients with virtually no leads coming in.

I realized the subconscious patterning of co-dependency and low self-worth that I was exhibiting in my love life were negatively affecting in my career life.

However, I didn’t get it.  I just took note.

Fast forward to late 2023 and I embarked on a new journey of doing TBM work (to be magnetic) which is a lot of subconscious unblocking.  I HIGHLY recommend this body of work.  

From doing this work and getting deep into my subconscious I have released a lot of blocks that have resulted in business growth, and I received a huge aha after consistently hearing the link between love and money from doing the TBM work.  And I noticed that working through my different relationship patterns, blocks and subconscious beliefs has helped my business grow.  

Here is a very concrete and fascinating example.  

First off, I took off 8 months completely from dating to really peel back the layers of why I kept dating the avoidant, didn't-want-a-commitment-type-of-guy.   I also did a lot of reflection on what I truly want out of a relationship.  When I started dating again after this 8 month break the guys that were coming in were fantastic.  Kind, thoughtful, looking for commitment, healthy minded, open minded, communicative, securely attached, etc. 

I was on a third beautifully planned date not too long ago with a guy that was really exceptional, kind, and funny.  We were both looking for a long-term commitment and I also knew it was time to get into a little detail about how much I had my kids (a lot!) and a difficult situation going on with my ex that affected our parenting arrangement.  I told him what was appropriate to know at this stage in our dating journey.

As I was opening up to him my self-talk was “he is not going to think I am worth this.”  I was projecting from a low worth place.

Well, a few days later when he very nicely told me he didn’t think we were a good match I thanked him for letting me know and then felt my feelings fully.

I felt the rejection. I let the tears flow. I felt the unworthiness and through doing the work in TBM I uncovered a block that was visceral which was “I am not worth the trouble.” 

I dug deep and had a lot of ancient tears around feeling that block, talking with that untruth and re-programming it to “I am worth the trouble.” 

I knew this low self-worth thought had lived inside of me for a long time and was affecting so many aspects of my life. 

I also knew that I was seeing this guy's rejection through the lens of "I am not worth it" rather than the truth that we were not a good match as he wanted to get away as much as possible on the weekends with a partner and I wasn't in the position nor did I have the desire to get away most weekends as I am soaking in all the time I can get with my teens right now!  Like it said....it just want's a good fit.

And here comes the magic and the payoff from doing that work (but not why I did it…just a nice bonus):

A few days later I received 5 leads through my website (over just a few days) from HUGE global companies.  I now have signed contracts from three of them, a proposal being reviewed by one, and one I am still working on making a first appointment with. 

All of them that I had appointments with were so kind, eager to hear my ideas and totally fine to fit into my full schedule based upon my availability reminding me that I am again “worth the trouble.” 

My conditioning is that I am too nice and too accommodating and so that is why “worth the trouble” was such a huge belief shift for me.

One client was even willing to talk to me in her late evening time (she is in another country) to accommodate my daytime ability again reinforcing this new belief that I am “worth the trouble.”   She is also the first one that signed my agreement and immediately paid my invoice.

This example made me fully understand the link between love and money because the underlying blocks are the same.  My blocks of unworthiness were showing up in the same type of way both in love/dating and in career/money.

Leave me a comment or shoot me an email as I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Lots of love, Shawn